sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2007-02-01 10:23:36 | That White Outfit | awful tense. make it active not passive verb tense. |
| 2007-02-01 12:19:37 | That White Outfit | MMMMM DADY PLS FUCK ME .......PAM |
| 2007-02-01 13:57:34 | That White Outfit | The tense is a mix of present and present progressive, not passive. Passive would be "my cock is swallowed by your pussy". This style gives the story an interesting sense of immediacy once you get used to it. Normally I despise sentence fragments, but they make this story feel almost stream-of-consciousness. I would have liked more of a sense of her age and build, other than young and slim, but this story is so impressive that I don't really mind. Thank you. =dreamer= |
| 2007-02-01 15:34:03 | That White Outfit | WOW |
| 2007-02-01 16:10:40 | That White Outfit | makes me want to get my dad to fuck me |