sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2004-12-13 17:21:41 | Welcome back Brother | work on it a bit. not only the proper grammar, but the slang as well. |
| 2004-12-13 22:10:09 | Welcome back Brother | Put some emotion into it And learn some grammar |
| 2004-12-14 14:44:18 | Welcome back Brother | shit what a 2 out of like fucking 50 the grammar in that shit was terrible as a motherfuckin' retarted motherfucker |
| 2004-12-14 16:37:19 | Welcome back Brother | hmmm, a bit garbled around the speech, could use some work in the paragraphing. also the spelling in speech and description could use work. however, did anyone think maybe this guy could be dyslexic? that may b y he cant spell correctly. good introduction to story, rushed once it got to the actual sex part. not enough description here and also moves too quickly from loss of virginity to pleasure (wouldnt happen in real life) and a veryu dissapointing ending. i would personally give it a 5/10 but hey, u got a rating which is more than some of the stories on here deserve in my opinion |
| 2004-12-15 01:43:47 | Welcome back Brother | dude....... im sorry to say but that was a crappy story..... all for the reasons everyone else said. ya it was a great story line until around somewhere in the middle when you lost it. you need to work on the speech alot more too.. it was all way to crammed in together. |