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Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2004-09-23 07:01:24 | Cheerleader Virgin Fucks | It was ok dnt lisin 2 them ok 7/10 lve ya |
| 2004-09-27 18:47:48 | Cheerleader Virgin Fucks | If you really are nineteen, then I can understand the slangy writing. The problem with this electronic generation is the befuddling mixture of words and shorthand, i.e. "Thank u 4 readin my story..." While this may be acceptable and efficient in chat rooms and some informal emails, the simple truth is that it is distracting in any sort of prose writing and has a tendency to diminish the actual content of the story. With that said, I think that it is an interesting story with some very weird moments, but hot moments nonetheless. Your writing could be much better if you did expand on the scenes with greater detail. For those of you who are going to criticize someone on their spelling, you might consider ensuring that your own submissions are error free. Otherwise, you just negate your own criticism by contradicting yourself. |
| 2004-09-28 23:45:25 | Cheerleader Virgin Fucks | You need to work on sentence sturcture. You seem to be in a junior high composition class. Look at what you did as a draft and then rewrite each paragraph so that the structure is improved. Make the story plot flow so that it hold the readers interest. Good Luck! |
| 2004-10-01 14:02:47 | Cheerleader Virgin Fucks | i dont rate 10! |
| 2004-10-02 04:47:13 | Cheerleader Virgin Fucks | its shit, your spelling and poor grammer made for a distracting writing. try to show more detail in some parts, go into emotion a little more |