| 2006-03-10 19:08:31 |
|
I enjoyed Neil's exploits, as fucked up as they were, it was hot because we knew it wasn't real. But with your writing, the characters started to become real(btw you are an excellent writer, I liked how you had character development in a story as short as this) and I really started to HATE Neil. By the end I wanted him to fucking die, and having him kill himself the way he did was nice.
And for the people who think that Neil should have won... I disagree. You can't have him win after having so much character development in Cindy and Jake, it just doesn't work.
Anyways, I liked the story. You should try your hand at writing some more... mainstream stuff. As odd as it sounds, writing sex stories can be really constraining because you have to keep writing sex scenes. Good luck! |
| 2006-03-10 19:25:44 |
|
Oh, one idea if you do decide to continue this series. Do like 5-part miniseries, with each ending with the LMM gun being passed on to another (ie multiple miniseries) person who is slowly corrupted by it. |
| 2006-03-10 20:44:07 |
|
keep writing you did an excellent job 10/10 |
| 2006-03-10 22:49:22 |
|
i wanted more of neil takeing over the world or something but i didnt really like this ending its like the devils rejects |
| 2006-03-10 23:49:01 |
|
I do mean to insult you. get off this mind control and murder shit, and write a real story, dickhead.
rudbored one |